9 Basic Rights for Everyone In A Relationship
You have the right to keep some things to yourself. To have diaries, email accounts and text logs that are privy to no one but you. You do not have the right to go smooching other people and keep that to yourself, but you do have the right to fantasize about smooching others and then write about it in your diary, talk about it with your friends, or just have a good old time with those thoughts by yourself.
2) You have the right to avoid parenting.
You’re his girlfriend, not his mommy. If he needs someone to reassure him constantly, tell him how great he is, and wash his socks, he should spend less time being needy and more time working so that he can afford a life coach, paid fans, and a maid respectively. Conversely, if she needs someone to pay for everything, fight her battles, and prop her up against every minor insecurity, she should consider her right to move back home or date a much older man.
3) You have the right to ask but not to tell.
Relationships die if they don’t progress—or they stagnate, which for some of us is just a long, slow death. Sometimes change needs to happen, and you have to ask for it. Maybe you need him to go out less. Maybe he needs you to be more affectionate. Maybe you need him to be nicer to your family. Maybe he needs you to do something different in bed. It’s up to you to ask, and, unless you feel like an ultimatum is your only option, up to no one to tell.
4) You have the right to dates…if he cannot afford a dinner date it will be up to him to get creative.
A girl likes to be taken out. Not just “like.” It’s her right as an attractive, scintillating, fun-loving woman. I know young women who, from dating jerks, or just hipsters, have literally never been asked out on a proper date. I’m not saying that he has to show up in a fancy car with flowers and chocolates for your mom, but a proper date from time to time is necessary.
5) You have the right to clean up after yourself and only yourself.
I am not the tidiest of all people, but I try, and other people’s mess (in space I’ve shared with a significant other) drives me up the wall. If it’s a space you share, even if he just stays at your apartment from time to time, it deserves to be respected. Worst example: a girl I knew in college, who was dating a soccer player, had to suffer as, on more than one occasion, the soccer player she was dating and was sleeping in her room would (drunkenly or not) pee in her drawers.
6) You have the right to an orgasm.
Not every time. There needs to be some leeway here, on both sides, but I know way too many women, especially young women, who spend altogether too much time giving oral sex with little or no return on their investment. Of course it’s not just oral we’re talking about—your partner needs to make the accommodations necessary in your sex life that can help you “get” to where you want to “go.”
7) You have the right to see your friends.
Jealousy is a killer. As is neediness. If you can’t handle him spending time with his friends without you, maybe you just can’t handle him. And if he can’t handle you doing your own thing, whether it’s work, family time, or your girlfriends (guy friends too!), maybe he needs to grow a pair and find something to occupy his time with other than worrying about what you’re doing.
8) You have the right to be right….and wrong.
Everyone argues. It’s a fact of relationships. And someone is always right and someone is always wrong. But that’s not the point. How you approach arguments and their resolution can define you in a relationship. Are you a gloater? Do you hold grudges? Can you get over things? Do you choose your battles or do you focus on the smallest little things?
9) You have the right to judge and be judged.
Hey, taste is important. People who are overly judgmental are annoying, but people who don't judge anything are worse. We need to judge things to curate the people, places and things we want in our lives. There’s only so much any of us is, or should be, willing to put up with.
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All are very true, and very well said!! What do you think??
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